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Plot Twist: RFK Jr Says He Put A Dead Bear In Central Park, Staged Accident Scene

Tyler Durden's Photo
by Tyler Durden
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With wild plot twists and high intrigue, the 2024 election has been playing out like a TV miniseries. Straining to keep the ratings high, Sunday's episode just served up a bizarre admission from secondary character Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. You've heard of "jumping the shark"? Call this "jumping the bear." 

Apparently racing to beat an upcoming report from The New Yorker, Kennedy has confessed that he dumped a dead bear in Central Park in 2014, and staged the scene to make it look like the cub had been killed in a collision with a bicycle. In a video he posted to social media, Kennedy is shown kicking back in a kitchen, sharing the colorful anecdote with actress Rosanne Barr.  

Kennedy regales Roseanne Barr with the colorful story of his 2014 prank, which he said revealed "a little bit of the redneck in me"

Kennedy said he was driving up to the Hudson Valley for a falconing hunt when a van in front of him struck and killed the bear cub. "I pulled over and I picked up the bear and put him in the back of my van because I was going to skin the bear. It was very good condition and I was going to put the meat in my refrigerator,” he said, noting that New York state allows people to get a "bear tag for a roadkill bear." 

However, he and his hunting party had such a productive and enjoyable hunt that they ended up staying late. That precluded a trip back to his home in Westchester, because he had a dinner at Peter Luger Steak House in New York in New York City. The dinner went long too, and he had a flight to catch, again barring a trip to his refrigerator. 

Not wanting to leave the bear to rot in his car, the then-60-year-old Kennedy opted to turn his conundrum into a sophomoric prank that would capitalize on a controversy that was ongoing in New York City at the time, as multiple people had been killed and badly injured using recently-installed bike lanes. Conveniently, Kennedy had an old bicycle in his car that someone had given him to dispose of.

"I wasn't drinking, of course, but people were drinking with me who thought this was a good idea," said Kennedy. "I said, 'Let's go put this bear in Central Park and we'll make it look like he got hit by a bike." The independent candidate said he and his unnamed companions thought it would be "amusing for whoever found it." 

Kennedy then related his shock and anxiety when he woke the next morning to see his stunt had not only caused a huge media sensation, but intense police scrutiny:

The next day, it was on every television station. It was the front page of every paper, and I turned on the TV and there was a mile of yellow tape and there were 20 cop cars. There were helicopters flying over it. And I was like, 'Oh my God, what did I do?' 

There were some people on TV in Tyvek suits with gloves on, lifting up the bike, and they're saying they're going to take this up to Albany to get it fingerprinted. I was worried because my prints were all over that bike." 

Kennedy was recently contacted by The New Yorker's  fact-checkers to confirm the tale was true. "You know, it's going to be a bad story," said Kennedy, with Barr and someone else in the room erupting in laughter as the video ends.  

In an odd coincidence, some of the New York Times' 2014 reporting on the discovery of the 44-pound, approximately 6-month-old bear was handled by Tatiana Schlossberg, daughter of RFK Jr's first cousin, Caroline Kennedy. New York's Department of Environmental Conservation later concluded the bear was killed by a collision with a motor vehicle. 

According to a recent Reuters/Ipsos poll, Kennedy is the top choice of 8% of voters. Last week, his campaign said that, in working to secure ballot access, it had crossed over one million signatures collected, saying that was more than any presidential candidate in American history." The campaign says it has now hit the signature requirement in 42 states representing 480 electoral votes. 

Meanwhile, watch for Democratic talking heads to decry the bear story as an indicator of Kennedy's un-fitness for high office, while most normal people will find it just plain old funny. 

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